I'm Bored at Work

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Welcome to I'mBoredAtWork.org!  If you're looking for something to do while bored at work, bored at school, bored in general, or just a place that will keep you occupied with fun, interesting, and funny content, you're at the right place!  I'm Josh, and at the top of this page is a picture of me.  I was even bored as a kid.  I created this site because I always found myself with nothing to do at work.  Now I update this website to give me things to do while giving YOU things to browse through.  Most importantly, I want to see you while bored at work.  Send in pictures of what you do while bored at work or at school (I spent many hours of my undergrad sitting in a computer lab bored out of my mind), or a picture of you miserable at your desk.  Get creative, and we can see who really is the most bored at work.  So kick back, watch out for your boss/teacher/professor, and enjoy! Wednesday April 8, 2009 My advice to this guy would be this: get rid of all those binders and stacks of paper on your desk.  They will only remind you of how much work you should be doing.  And then you'll only realize that none of the work really matters and that your job is poiintless.  And then you'll end up looking like you do in this picture.  And nobody wants that.  And then he would say, "Thank you bored at work guru."  And then quit his job. Josh's Picks: News:  Ice treatment saves man who died 9 times Music:  Who wants to come sail away with me? Sports:  Alcohol banned at Blue Jays stadium after fans were throwing things at Tigers players Showbiz:  I don't think the CW wants people watching their TV station Politics:  Dead guy gets elected Mayor $300,000 is $1,000,000 in New York now Looks like South Africa has got some issues again Tuesday April 7, 2009 According to the story posted yesterday, today at 11:45 is the most stressful time at work.  Let's all avoid that together by taking an early lunch and then checking our email every 2 minutes once we're back so that it appears we're working and stressed out, but we're not actually doing anything.  Then again, who am I kidding?  "Most stressful time at work" really just means "the one time in the week that you actually have a few things to do, so you're not insanely bored at work."  Oh, and here's a Dilbert comic.  Oh, that zany Dilbert and his whacky coworkers... Josh's Picks: News:  After 6 months of the Swedish police failing, a father flies to Sweden and finds his kidnapped sons in a week Music:  For those about to work, we salute you Sports:  Billy Pierce says pitchers today are wimps Showbiz:  Spinal Tap announces "world tour," which will be one concert at Wimbley...you gotta love those guys Politics:  Obama having a hard time cutting budget for missiles and defense Study shows Obama is a divider, not a uniter Right-winger says Obama is speaking in code and telling the Taliban we will submit to them...yeah, sounds a little insane Monday April 6, 2009 Let's face it.  Your boss doesn't care about your accomplishments, your degree, or your skills, except for how those things can help him make more money.  And when you go talk to him or her, you will be treated as though you have none of these things, and that he or she is 100 times smarter and more knowledgeable about the things that he pays you to do.  This is why I generally avoid my boss's office.  I'd rather sit around bored at work, surfing the internet and pretending to do work. Josh's Picks: News:  Study has figured at the most stressful time of the week at work...and apparently it's tomorrow Music:  If you can't have the job you love, love the one you're with Sports:  Gunfire at Tom Brady's and Giselle Bundchen's wedding Showbiz:  Whitney Houston paid people $400,000 to NOT kill Bobby Brown Politics:  Fox News ambushes professor and starts asking crazy things Apparently the North Koreans still aren't good at the whole rocket thing Thursday April 2, 2009 Let's stick with the Norse god theme.  It's Thursday, so here is Thor.  Happy Thor's Day!  It also seems appropriate for me, since I live in Florida now, which is the lightning capitol of the United States.  Apparently Thor likes to strike down his bolts on us.  And it is also raining right now, so the view from my office is as depressing as the boredom I feel that most likely won't go away until...I retire I guess.  But the good news is that tomorrow is Friday!  So hang in there guys!  Only one more day this week of being bored at work. Josh's Picks: News:  Man coughs up a nail that's been in his face for 30 years Music:  Let's take care of business today Sports:  People freak out when they think April Fool's Day joke about NASCAR is real Showbiz:  Bill Cosby wins Mark Twain prize Politics:  Obama gives the Queen an iPod with his photos and speeches on it Obama confuses England with U.K. GOP alternative budget includes tax cuts for the wealthy...there's a shocker Wednesday April 1, 2009 Well, it's Wednesday.  Which we get from Odin's Day, so let's all pay homage to that zany Norse god.  Maybe he'll destroy our office buildings in one of his patented destructive moods.  Then we won't have to work, and our days will be that much better for it.  Or, you, know, just play a good April Fool's Day joke on your coworkers.  But be creative, because everyone is on the lookout for hijinks and tomfoolery today.  Or they'll be too bored to remember it's April 1. Josh's Picks: News:  UC Davis student group to show harcore porn movie in chemistry lecture hall Music:  I think we all need a little serenity Sports:  Broncos finally agree to trade Cutler Showbiz:  Artist builds Minas Tirith with matchsticks Politics:  U.S. building surveillance towers to secure it's border. The Canadian border...why, people, why McCain to seek presidential pardon for famous black boxer in the early 1900s Tuesday March 31, 2009 Another good bored at work lesson.  Always keep fun things in your office/cubicle.  Like action figures.  You might think it's dorky.  But after hour number 4 of nothing to do and you're starting to twitch with borderline insanity, you're going to bust out your G.I. Joes and point them at the guy in the cubicle next to you.  And when he asks you what's with the G.I. Joe's staring at him, you say with your best Eastwood, "Precautionary measures." Josh's Picks: News:  People are sick...Cult didn't feed a 16 month old and then tried to resurrect it after it died The 6 tiniest nations in the world, and their weird histories Music:  We can work out this bored at work problem Sports:  Video of the Blackhawks/Canucks brawl Showbiz:  MTV to go throwback and play its awesome videos and concerts from the 90s...too bad it's on at 3am Politics:  Olbermann calls Twitter Worst Person in the World...but the jokes on him Palin needed to pick a Dem for an empty seat, so she picks a guy that just switched from the Republican party a couple weeks ago Obama's pick for State Department's legal advisor: a guy who says other nations laws should determine our laws Monday March 30, 2009 I think Edvard Munch must have painted The Scream during a slow Monday at the office.  This shriek from the bowels of hell can only come from someone who knows that they have to spend the next 5 days having their soul slowly poisoned.  Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed your weekends.  Mine was quite relaxing, and I brewed up a new batch of beer.  I brewed it with blood oranges, and I was quite tempted to save a few so I could rub them all over my clothes and run into my boss's office screaming about how my experiment blew up and I needed to run to the hospital.  Just to see how he reacts. Josh's Picks: News:  Feel good story for Monday: Two guys catch a toddler who fell 40 feet and saved its life Music:  Feeling small today? Like Particle Man? Sports:  Guitar Hero commercial featuring some of the best college basketball coaches ever Showbiz:  From the files of bad ideas that will make it on TV: Let's combing The Bachelor with The Biggest Loser Politics:  Maybe waterboarding didn't actual get us any useful information... Obama compared to Machiavelli's The Prince McCain not ready to support Palin if she runs in 2012 Friday March 27, 2009 It's Friday, and if you can have half the fun that this elephant is having, then you'll be all right.  If we could only train this elephant to shoot beer all over the place, we'd be in business.  Then again, now that I think about it, I don't know if I want beer that's been in an elephant's trunk. Ah, who am I kidding, yes I do.  Enjoy your weekend and try not to think about work.  In fact try not to think about work at all today.  And if you're really bored at work, just remember that you have 2 days of freedom coming up.  And if you're a weekend worker, use this economic downturn to find a new job.  (P.S. I'm posting extra stories today because I know no one does work on Fridays) Josh's Picks: News:  Even Texas likes evolution A fun paper clip for your office supply cabinet Apparently 2pm is titty time in a San Francisco cathedral Music:  Let's celebrate good times Sports:  Martin Brodeur has to pay ex-wife big bucks NFL is about to sell out Devil Rays send top prospect back to minors Showbiz:  Top 10 superhero alter egos Jimmy Fallon accidentally uses an Onion news story thinking it was real Politics:  GOP unveils its own budget Maybe Israeli soldiers weren't just killing random people Obama's attitude about Wall Street is criticized More U.S. soldiers than NATO soldiers in Afghanistant...sound familiar? Thursday March 26, 2009 Here's something obvious that your boss doesn't want you to know.  They goof off just as much, if not MORE, than you do.  This is known as the Boss Paradox.  They constantly demand all work and no play from their employees (us) because it makes them more money or look better to their own superiors.  But it's a common known fact about bosses that they have even less work to do than you (I know, it's hard to imagine).   As a boss, all they do is tell other people what to do, but their only real "work" is running meetings (which isn't work) and meeting other company execs for lunch or making phone calls to them (something that requires little to no time or brain power).  So despite their pissings and moanings about you needing to pick up the slack, they probably spend most of their time playing Solitaire or surfing the internet.  Of course we can't prove any of this.  If only we could barge into their offices like they barge into our offices/cubicles/dark bunker-like corners. Josh's Picks: News:  France still wants land in North America after all these years...good thing they're picking on equally weak Canada Music:  An old favorite folk song my dad used to sing to me Sports:  MMA fighters are crazy. Too prove my point, this one drinks his own urine every morning Showbiz:  When Jeremy Irons gets bored at work, he spends 6 years restoring an old Irish castle...now THAT'S bored at work awesomeness Politics:  House Panel approves Obama budget Michael Steele says he may run for president, and all of his craziness is part of a strategic plan Wednesday March 25, 2009 The bored is strong with this one.  We're really starting 'em off young these days, aren't we?  That's why we give them an X-Box 8000, PS24, Nintendo Wii, DX, Internet, cell phones, and mp3 players.  The world would just end if our precious little snowflakes had nothing to do.  I say soldier up kids!  In my day we had an Atari with impossibly frustrating games that had no end, a basketball, and the neighbors' hoop.  The children of today will never survive the work place.  They'll be smarter, more educated, and more skilled than any of us, but the first week that goes by of insanity-inducing boredom, the result will either be a straight jacket or handcuffs. Josh's Picks: News:  UK girl's parents are sent letter saying she needs to improve her attendance at school. She's been dead for 2 months Man wrongly jailed for murder is let go after 27 years...and then gets hit by a taxi Music:  Is time on your side? Sports:  Florida Marlins getting a new stadium Showbiz:  A tough question: Why is David Caruso still on TV? Politics:  GOP tells Cheney to have a nice warm glass of Shut The Hell Up Obama to Ed Henry: "I like to know what I'm talking about before I speak." Take that, Fox Tuesday March 24, 2009 This is about how I feel today.  I've had a nice run of not showing up for work until 9:30 or so, and today I strolled in at 8:30.  And you all know how much of a difference makes in the morning when all you want to do is smash your alarm clock A La Groundhog Day.  Oh, that wiley Bill Murray and his smugness.  In other news, it's Tuesday which is one of the most boring days at work.  You've essentially done all the work for the week on Monday, since it took a weekend to build up enough work to actually fit in an 8 hour day.  And now it's Tuesday, there is nothing to do, and the weekend seems as if it will never come.  Fret not, folks.  I've learned that no matter how unlikely it seems, the weekend does indeed come every week.  Except for that one time after my boss got that crazy look in his eye, and chained me to my desk saying, "Ahahaha!  I've finally stolen your soul!"  Work to the wise: never work for Satan.  The red horns and pitchfork really should have been a red flag.  (Thanks to Nicorie for this picture.) Josh's Picks: News:  Elie Wiesel's words for Madoff: "Psychopath is too nice a word for him" Sports:  Japan wins World Baseball Classic Music:  Mmmmm, cinnamon Showbiz:  After dating the same girl for 23 years, Letterman finally gets married Politics:  South Africa won't let Dalai Lama in for 2010 World Cup The new Illinois governor is filling Blagojavic's shoes nicely Monday March 23, 2009 So we had some internet problems at work last week.  Which is close to the worst thing ever.  There are few things like being bored at work and not being able to fake check your email, read pointless yet interesting things on the internet or plays games to pass the time.  And God knows you don't have any real work to do.  If you did, it wouldn't be a job.  Worst of all, I couldn't update this site.  Hopefully for all of our sakes, that never happens again.  Seeing the address not found screen is horrifying.  It's like seeing all of your hopes and dreams just a window away, but when you get to the window it says "Sorry, www.allofyourhopesanddreams.com/justaclickaway cannot be accessed." Josh's Picks: News:  Mt. Redoubt erupts in Alaska Music:  How about a little Chuck Berry to start off the week Sports:  Jets want Jay Cutler Showbiz:  Mythbusters create explosion big enough to scare the crap out of everyone in the town Politics:  GOP says deficit doomsday is on the way if Obama's budget gets passed Has Obama's Katrina moment arrived? Wednesday March 18, 2009 Watch out!  Two days in a row!  Don't stop me now, folks.  Now that I'm back to habitual soul-crushing boredom at work, this website is like sweet nectar to me.  Oh how I've missed scouring the internet for things to keep me occupied.  As this cartoon shows, even your boss needs some break from the monotony.  But for good gossip, I would say something devious like, "I hear Johnson from accounting pisses on your car once a week, but I don't know if it's true or not."  Just so that your boss is paranoid and worried and goes to the car wash like 3 days a week, just in case. Josh's Picks: News:  Why do Germans always turn to Nazism when times are tough? Music:  Graverdigger, when you dig this economy's grave... Sports:  Brodeur breaks all time wins record Showbiz:  Bill O'Reilly's audio book is creepier than his show Politics:  White House knew about AIG bonuses 2 months ago Finally some level-headed words about Obama from the GOP, and they are coming from...G.W. Bush...wait, what? The blood violence from drug cartels in Mexico are spilling into the U.S. 65 to 70% of their money and power comes from supplying marijuana. Time to revise the laws here? Even senators hate the extra TSA screening. Surprise, surprise. Tuesday March 17, 2009 My goodness gracious me!  I've been out for 3 months!!  I'd go into detail about where the heck I've been and why I haven't updated this site, but it's really not that interesting.  Suffice it to say I've been a research slave (and frankly a little lazy).  But I'm back and you can (hopefully) count on me to keep this a daily thing again.  Cuz I know you missed me.  Especially you, Sarah from Scotland.  Thanks for the email, by the way.  Helped me get off my butt and find time to cure my boredom.  Back to being complete slouches, people! Josh's Picks: News:  Man on deathbed confesses to murder, and then doesn't die Music:  It's almost summertime, so get ready Sports:  BBC idiot compares a tackle to rape...surprisingly, people got upset Politics:  Sen. Grassley finally expresses the anger we all feel towards AIG Showbiz: 6 movie remakes that missed the point  Monday December 22, 2008 Ah, the scapegoat.  The go-to person that can always be blamed for everything.  It's just easier that way.  Cuz sometimes, when things go wrong, you yourself can't take the blame.  There's too much risk.  But if everyone has agreed upon one person to blame for everything, then you're covered. As for me, I'm not bored at work, cuz I'm at the airport to head home for Christmas! Josh's Picks: News:  I don't even have anything clever. Scientists are making a "sex chip" Music:  My plane is not the American Pie Sports:  Lebron might stay in Cleveland after all... Showbiz:   Politics:   Wednesday December 17, 2008 What is this world coming to?  Me, yours truly, the bored at work site creator has been too busy to update this site.  The worst part is...I haven't actually been bored at work.  I've been busy, but strangely enough I haven't been bored.  I've never felt this sensation before, and frankly I'm a little worried.  Hopefully I'll be back to normal soon... Josh's Picks: News:  It's getting so bad that people are begging for 9.50 an hour landfill jobs Music:  Go now, you are forgiven Sports:  Football legend Sammy Baugh dies Showbiz:  Aretha Franklin will sing at Obama's inauguration Politics:  Obama picks Mary Schapiro to head SEC Congress is so proud of their work in crippling the economy and causing thousands of jobs lost that they are giving themselves a raise Some impressive numbers on Illinois' political corruption including 1000 convictions of political corruption since '71 and the fact that 4 of the last 8 Govs have gone to prison Monday December 15, 2008 I've been missing for a couple weeks, I know.  It was finals weeek at school, and I had all sorts of research items that needed to be finished.  Then again, I was very, very bored studying for finals, so maybe I should have posted stuff... Anyway, I hope you didn't miss me too much, and that you found ways to stay alive at work.  One survival method is to do what Dilbert does, and manipulate his co-workers.  It works wonders, especially when you don't want to do any work yourself. Josh's Picks: News:  Beer is coming back to Sudan after 25 years! Music:  Did it feel empty without me? Sports:  How much action is actually in a football game? 12 minutes, 8 seconds Showbiz:  Will Smith donates dinners to the needy Politics:  Bush administration changed bailout bill at the last minute Wednesday December 3, 2008 I love the thought process of being bored at work.  Taking a break always seems both justified and like a good idea.  And you also tend to make things like listening to a voicemail an actual item on the To-Do list for the day, even though it takes no time and no thought/efffort.  But hey, you gotta at least think you're being productive or else you'll realize how pointless your job is. Josh's Picks:   News:  Army Interrogator talks about why torture doesn't work Music:  Isn't it ironic? Sports:  It will cost USC one time out per half to wear home jersey's at UCLA Showbiz:  Las Vegas taxi drivers don't like Criss Angel Politics:  GOP is in bad shape, in case you didn't know Monday December 1, 2008 As you all noticed, I took most of last week off in observance of my birthday/Thanksgiving.  And now it's back to being bored at work.  And back to bosses that barely understand the things they make us do.  I like the crickets, though.  I'm considering keeping some around for when I have meetings with my boss. Josh's Picks:   News:  CNN almost got a Welsh couple killed in Mumbai Music:  Work sucks...but that's the way it is Sports:  Plax is an idiot Showbiz:  College offering a South Park course Politics:  Obama is against genocide